Our last visit

Dear Hailey,

I keep telling myself that I am going to keep up with this blog on a daily basis, but I have failed to do that. I will, however write within a short period of time when something significant happens between me and you or between me and Mommy.
Hailey tonight is Sunday and I saw you last on Friday. This is too long to be waiting to see you, but unfortunately it needs to be this way.  Right now, every time I get together with your mom, there is fighting and bad things happening.
I told her that I wanted to see you on Friday and she agreed. When I came by there was a severe thunderstorm approaching and you and her were outside watching the clouds roll through. I remember they were really pretty and just before the rain came the sky was beautiful.
I came a little early that day because I wanted to get you before it actually rained so you wouldn't get wet. I was hoping that we could get to my friend's house safely and once the rain was done it would be fun for both of us. Unfortunately it didn't happen that way.
Your mommy must have been upset at me again and told me that I didn't put the car seat in properly. Honestly, I thought it was fine and knew that you would be completely safe, but Mommy thought otherwise. She began telling me that I didn't have it installed correctly and that I needed to fix it or else I couldn't take you. I know she was just concerned about your safety as any good mother would be, but rather than helping me put the seat in to her standard, she wanted to pick a fight and try to keep me from taking you. She yelled at me and we began to fight a little again.

Hailey, I didn't want to fight, I simply wanted Heather to show me how she liked the car seat installed but she didn't want to show me. Instead she called the police. This was really ridiculous Hailey, and I know that things like this will only traumatize you further. I can not understand how this type of thing can happen. I hate to see this thing happen because you are so precious and in no way deserve to see your parents go through this sort of thing. After the police came, and Mommy was satisfied, we left.

That day, I bought you some diapers and baby wipes because Mommy didn't want to share any with me. In the end, I need to have some of your clothes and toys so when you see me I don't need to buy them. Mommy is so mad at me right now that she will not give me anything.

I don't want to blame her for everything Hailey, because Daddy has made some mistakes too. Mainly my mistakes are calling Mommy bad names when I am mad and for that I am sorry. I never want you to be in a position to hear that kind of thing and this is the real reason I haven't been around so much lately. Believe me, my heart is broken and I think about you every day. I really wish things were different and that I could see you everyday. Hopefully I will soon.

Tomorrow is Monday and I am going to see a lawyer and afterwards I will stop by and we can go for a walk or to the park and play for a while. I hope you never forget that I love you, and someday when you read this you will understand how I really feel. I love you. See you soon.

Love, Daddy