Dear Hailey,
This is my belated post in response to your birthday which was last Thursday. First of all, I can not believe that you are TWO years old. You are such a big girl now! I think you are growing up too fast, but that is how life moves.
On your birthday I called Mommy and told her I wanted to speak to you. She waited the whole day until I had a meeting and then wanted to do it. At that point I couldn't Skype with you until a little later. That night I was able to get on the phone for a little while, but my computer was acting up and I couldn't stay on too long. I did, however see you and was able to say happy birthday to you. I saw that Mommy gave you a couple of books and other stuff. Apparently you also got cupcakes which I hope were good.
On Friday, the next day I went to Nauvoo with my friends Frank and Amy, along with their daughter Savannah. I wish you were able to come with, but I didn't make arrangements with Mommy ahead of time. Hopefully the next time I go you can come too. It is so much fun there. I saw some missionaries and they told me to write down some stuff regarding the pageant and pray that the Holy Spirit would comfort me. I also went to the Temple and prayed myself that day.
Hailey, I have made many mistakes in my life, but not all that bad. I need to pray more to Heavenly Father for myself, your mother , and for you. I did get a confirmation though that the Church is absolutely true, we do have a living Prophet, and our Savior, Jesus Christ lives! I hope one day I can share this with you and give you my testimony and that you will grow your own. I also know that despite what is happening in our family, everything will be OK. Your relationship and mine will thrive and as you grow I will definitely be there for you. Mommy and Daddy may no longer be married, but I will ALWAYS love you and be your Daddy.
Hailey, yesterday I picked you up and we went to see Grandma and Grandpa Korbel (Papi and Abuela). I came over and brought you a present. I hope you liked it. Mommy must have thought that I was trying to make her feel bad because she didn't have a lot of money to spend on you, but I had no intention of making her feel that way. I just wanted to give you a present. We all went to the county fair and you saw the animals. We rode some rides and you ate a corn dog, some corn on the cob, and a chicken burrito. Papi bought you a Dora the Explorer doll and you loved it.
Hailey, Mommy and Daddy are still fighting and I hope you are not mad at either one of us. We both love you very much and want only what is best for you. I can't wait to see you again!
Love,
Daddy
Monday, July 30, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Sunny Smiles
Dear Hailey,
I got to see your pretty smile twice this week and I can't wait to see it again. We had the chance to Skype on Sunday, and we went to the mall on Monday. I love being able to see you because you are always so excited and happy and it truly warms my heart.
We went to ride the carousel again and played with the mechanical train. You also jumped on the escalator, but you call them "magic stairs". What is funny is that you always miss the end point but as soon as I put you down you jump by yourself and it is so cute.
Guess what? Mommy and I had a long talk and even though we still are not living together, she agreed to let me take you for a weekend at a time. You will be able to stay with me while I am living here with Frank and Amy, and soon I will have a place of my own. I just need to work really hard before that happens.
Mommy and Daddy agreed to go to see a counselor and try to work out our problems a little more. I think that may be OK for a while because I do not wish to file for divorce quite yet. Although I still believe that may be inevitable, nothing is final yet.
I can't wait until your birthday. Maybe you and I can see Papi and Abuela and spend the day with them. I can't believe that you are going to be two! You are growing up so fast!
Ok I gotta go now. I will see you soon. I love you.
Love,
Daddy
I got to see your pretty smile twice this week and I can't wait to see it again. We had the chance to Skype on Sunday, and we went to the mall on Monday. I love being able to see you because you are always so excited and happy and it truly warms my heart.
We went to ride the carousel again and played with the mechanical train. You also jumped on the escalator, but you call them "magic stairs". What is funny is that you always miss the end point but as soon as I put you down you jump by yourself and it is so cute.
Guess what? Mommy and I had a long talk and even though we still are not living together, she agreed to let me take you for a weekend at a time. You will be able to stay with me while I am living here with Frank and Amy, and soon I will have a place of my own. I just need to work really hard before that happens.
Mommy and Daddy agreed to go to see a counselor and try to work out our problems a little more. I think that may be OK for a while because I do not wish to file for divorce quite yet. Although I still believe that may be inevitable, nothing is final yet.
I can't wait until your birthday. Maybe you and I can see Papi and Abuela and spend the day with them. I can't believe that you are going to be two! You are growing up so fast!
Ok I gotta go now. I will see you soon. I love you.
Love,
Daddy
Friday, July 13, 2012
Just a quick update
Dear Hailey,
I was just thinking of you quickly as I was on my computer. I can't wait to see you, but Mommy and I need to come to an agreement as to when I can visit.
We went to a counselor the other day and it wasn't good. Both of us had anger towards the other. That is not something I am proud of. What resulted was that the counselor and we agreed that there may not be much reconciliation between the two of us. That is sad, but what is worse is the fact that you are caught right in the middle.
I need to spend some time thinking about what will be best for you, Hailey, and not what is best for Mommy and Daddy. I promise I will go to the Temple soon and pray to God about what to do. There has just been too much hurt and pain and I can't live with that. I will fight for us, but it will get ugly. I hope you understand that this is not about you. I love you. Mommy loves you and we want to be able to do what is best for you. I will continue working towards that end.
Have a great day and I will see you soon.
Love,
Daddy
I was just thinking of you quickly as I was on my computer. I can't wait to see you, but Mommy and I need to come to an agreement as to when I can visit.
We went to a counselor the other day and it wasn't good. Both of us had anger towards the other. That is not something I am proud of. What resulted was that the counselor and we agreed that there may not be much reconciliation between the two of us. That is sad, but what is worse is the fact that you are caught right in the middle.
I need to spend some time thinking about what will be best for you, Hailey, and not what is best for Mommy and Daddy. I promise I will go to the Temple soon and pray to God about what to do. There has just been too much hurt and pain and I can't live with that. I will fight for us, but it will get ugly. I hope you understand that this is not about you. I love you. Mommy loves you and we want to be able to do what is best for you. I will continue working towards that end.
Have a great day and I will see you soon.
Love,
Daddy
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Great weekend!
Dear Hailey,
After two very good days having fun with you, I can't wait to see you again. Friday night we went to the mall and had fun on the Carousel. You rode all the rides and had fun at the toy store. I haven't spend three hours at the mall in a long time. You must have loved eating there because you were so helpful grabbing the chair and sliding across the floor. The girl at the restaurant thought you were cute too, and that is because you are.
Mommy didn't say anything about the car seat; I was hoping that she wouldn't. I took it to the police station and even though he tried to give me a hard time, I guess he must have been a daddy too because he understood why I needed it.
On Sunday, I picked you up to come with me to see my friend Jasson and his wife and son Lincoln. They were very happy to see you. Jasson is a very good friend of mine and he has helped me in many ways. We spent the day having dinner and watching you play with the toys. Lincoln accidentally hit you a few times, and though he got in trouble he really didn't mean it. He was sweet and apologized for it and also gave you a big hug.
I could probably continue to write more about our days, but it was just nice to see you more than I have for the last couple of weeks. I love your smile when you see me. You are always so excited. I want to preserve that feeling and every time we get together have you bring it back.
We played fist bump, and this little piggy went to the market. I think you really like that game.
Have a wonderful couple of days, I will see you soon!
Love,
Daddy
After two very good days having fun with you, I can't wait to see you again. Friday night we went to the mall and had fun on the Carousel. You rode all the rides and had fun at the toy store. I haven't spend three hours at the mall in a long time. You must have loved eating there because you were so helpful grabbing the chair and sliding across the floor. The girl at the restaurant thought you were cute too, and that is because you are.
Mommy didn't say anything about the car seat; I was hoping that she wouldn't. I took it to the police station and even though he tried to give me a hard time, I guess he must have been a daddy too because he understood why I needed it.
On Sunday, I picked you up to come with me to see my friend Jasson and his wife and son Lincoln. They were very happy to see you. Jasson is a very good friend of mine and he has helped me in many ways. We spent the day having dinner and watching you play with the toys. Lincoln accidentally hit you a few times, and though he got in trouble he really didn't mean it. He was sweet and apologized for it and also gave you a big hug.
I could probably continue to write more about our days, but it was just nice to see you more than I have for the last couple of weeks. I love your smile when you see me. You are always so excited. I want to preserve that feeling and every time we get together have you bring it back.
We played fist bump, and this little piggy went to the market. I think you really like that game.
Have a wonderful couple of days, I will see you soon!
Love,
Daddy
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Our last visit
Dear Hailey,
I keep telling myself that I am going to keep up with this blog on a daily basis, but I have failed to do that. I will, however write within a short period of time when something significant happens between me and you or between me and Mommy.
Hailey tonight is Sunday and I saw you last on Friday. This is too long to be waiting to see you, but unfortunately it needs to be this way. Right now, every time I get together with your mom, there is fighting and bad things happening.
I told her that I wanted to see you on Friday and she agreed. When I came by there was a severe thunderstorm approaching and you and her were outside watching the clouds roll through. I remember they were really pretty and just before the rain came the sky was beautiful.
I came a little early that day because I wanted to get you before it actually rained so you wouldn't get wet. I was hoping that we could get to my friend's house safely and once the rain was done it would be fun for both of us. Unfortunately it didn't happen that way.
Your mommy must have been upset at me again and told me that I didn't put the car seat in properly. Honestly, I thought it was fine and knew that you would be completely safe, but Mommy thought otherwise. She began telling me that I didn't have it installed correctly and that I needed to fix it or else I couldn't take you. I know she was just concerned about your safety as any good mother would be, but rather than helping me put the seat in to her standard, she wanted to pick a fight and try to keep me from taking you. She yelled at me and we began to fight a little again.
Hailey, I didn't want to fight, I simply wanted Heather to show me how she liked the car seat installed but she didn't want to show me. Instead she called the police. This was really ridiculous Hailey, and I know that things like this will only traumatize you further. I can not understand how this type of thing can happen. I hate to see this thing happen because you are so precious and in no way deserve to see your parents go through this sort of thing. After the police came, and Mommy was satisfied, we left.
That day, I bought you some diapers and baby wipes because Mommy didn't want to share any with me. In the end, I need to have some of your clothes and toys so when you see me I don't need to buy them. Mommy is so mad at me right now that she will not give me anything.
I don't want to blame her for everything Hailey, because Daddy has made some mistakes too. Mainly my mistakes are calling Mommy bad names when I am mad and for that I am sorry. I never want you to be in a position to hear that kind of thing and this is the real reason I haven't been around so much lately. Believe me, my heart is broken and I think about you every day. I really wish things were different and that I could see you everyday. Hopefully I will soon.
Tomorrow is Monday and I am going to see a lawyer and afterwards I will stop by and we can go for a walk or to the park and play for a while. I hope you never forget that I love you, and someday when you read this you will understand how I really feel. I love you. See you soon.
Love, Daddy
I keep telling myself that I am going to keep up with this blog on a daily basis, but I have failed to do that. I will, however write within a short period of time when something significant happens between me and you or between me and Mommy.
Hailey tonight is Sunday and I saw you last on Friday. This is too long to be waiting to see you, but unfortunately it needs to be this way. Right now, every time I get together with your mom, there is fighting and bad things happening.
I told her that I wanted to see you on Friday and she agreed. When I came by there was a severe thunderstorm approaching and you and her were outside watching the clouds roll through. I remember they were really pretty and just before the rain came the sky was beautiful.
I came a little early that day because I wanted to get you before it actually rained so you wouldn't get wet. I was hoping that we could get to my friend's house safely and once the rain was done it would be fun for both of us. Unfortunately it didn't happen that way.
Your mommy must have been upset at me again and told me that I didn't put the car seat in properly. Honestly, I thought it was fine and knew that you would be completely safe, but Mommy thought otherwise. She began telling me that I didn't have it installed correctly and that I needed to fix it or else I couldn't take you. I know she was just concerned about your safety as any good mother would be, but rather than helping me put the seat in to her standard, she wanted to pick a fight and try to keep me from taking you. She yelled at me and we began to fight a little again.
Hailey, I didn't want to fight, I simply wanted Heather to show me how she liked the car seat installed but she didn't want to show me. Instead she called the police. This was really ridiculous Hailey, and I know that things like this will only traumatize you further. I can not understand how this type of thing can happen. I hate to see this thing happen because you are so precious and in no way deserve to see your parents go through this sort of thing. After the police came, and Mommy was satisfied, we left.
That day, I bought you some diapers and baby wipes because Mommy didn't want to share any with me. In the end, I need to have some of your clothes and toys so when you see me I don't need to buy them. Mommy is so mad at me right now that she will not give me anything.
I don't want to blame her for everything Hailey, because Daddy has made some mistakes too. Mainly my mistakes are calling Mommy bad names when I am mad and for that I am sorry. I never want you to be in a position to hear that kind of thing and this is the real reason I haven't been around so much lately. Believe me, my heart is broken and I think about you every day. I really wish things were different and that I could see you everyday. Hopefully I will soon.
Tomorrow is Monday and I am going to see a lawyer and afterwards I will stop by and we can go for a walk or to the park and play for a while. I hope you never forget that I love you, and someday when you read this you will understand how I really feel. I love you. See you soon.
Love, Daddy
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