Here are some great pics of you. I need many more memories.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
I love you
Dear Precious Hailey,
I have been a bad father. I know this now and I am sorry. What can I do to change this?
I haven't abused you, haven't been mean to you, never hated you, not ignored you, but I haven't been there enough for you.
Where are you now? You are sleeping. You are with your grandmother, your aunt, your uncle, your cousins. You are not with me. That is fair. You have a family that loves you just as much as I do. You have a mother who would give everything to you- you deserve the same from your father.
It took an unexpected person for me to realize this. I have been a bad father. I have seen you every week. Sometimes for a couple of hours, sometimes for a couple of days, but you are ALWAYS my daughter and should be in my life daily. I need to talk to you daily. I need to see you daily. I need you to hear that I love you daily. I need to be your father.
You are on my mind, but not enough. The world has kept you away from me. My actions have kept me away from you. Not because I have been a bad person or have put you in danger but because I am afraid.
I am afraid of the fight. I am afraid of your mother and I not speaking well to each other. I am afraid of exposing you to the negativity that surrounds me. That is the danger to you.
I have everything I need in this world to bless you and protect you, and give you everything you could ever want and I chose to cry and complain and settle for my shortcomings. I have been a bad father.
I see your picture on my phone everyday. I see you on my refrigerator. You are on my computer, and yet you are barely in my life. I don't know enough about you. The times I've had you I have slept. I have put you in front of a computer, I made you watch movies. We spent a little time and I try to spread my love, but it is not enough.
You are the best thing in my life and I have trampled over you. I have treated you as a second rate thing in my life and that is not fair.
You are and need to be the first thing in my life. My friend was right. I am more important to you than I give myself credit for. You deserve to know I am fighting for you. You need to know I love you more than life itself. I have not given you that. I am sorry. Please don't hate me. I will change.
I will be the father you need. I will put you first. I will shower you with my love and my affection until you choke and are without a doubt sure that I am steady in your life. I will ALWAYS be there. From this point on, I promise.
I will be your dad. I love you!
Daddy
I have been a bad father. I know this now and I am sorry. What can I do to change this?
I haven't abused you, haven't been mean to you, never hated you, not ignored you, but I haven't been there enough for you.
Where are you now? You are sleeping. You are with your grandmother, your aunt, your uncle, your cousins. You are not with me. That is fair. You have a family that loves you just as much as I do. You have a mother who would give everything to you- you deserve the same from your father.
It took an unexpected person for me to realize this. I have been a bad father. I have seen you every week. Sometimes for a couple of hours, sometimes for a couple of days, but you are ALWAYS my daughter and should be in my life daily. I need to talk to you daily. I need to see you daily. I need you to hear that I love you daily. I need to be your father.
You are on my mind, but not enough. The world has kept you away from me. My actions have kept me away from you. Not because I have been a bad person or have put you in danger but because I am afraid.
I am afraid of the fight. I am afraid of your mother and I not speaking well to each other. I am afraid of exposing you to the negativity that surrounds me. That is the danger to you.
I have everything I need in this world to bless you and protect you, and give you everything you could ever want and I chose to cry and complain and settle for my shortcomings. I have been a bad father.
I see your picture on my phone everyday. I see you on my refrigerator. You are on my computer, and yet you are barely in my life. I don't know enough about you. The times I've had you I have slept. I have put you in front of a computer, I made you watch movies. We spent a little time and I try to spread my love, but it is not enough.
You are the best thing in my life and I have trampled over you. I have treated you as a second rate thing in my life and that is not fair.
You are and need to be the first thing in my life. My friend was right. I am more important to you than I give myself credit for. You deserve to know I am fighting for you. You need to know I love you more than life itself. I have not given you that. I am sorry. Please don't hate me. I will change.
I will be the father you need. I will put you first. I will shower you with my love and my affection until you choke and are without a doubt sure that I am steady in your life. I will ALWAYS be there. From this point on, I promise.
I will be your dad. I love you!
Daddy
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